by Nush Sikdar
From a young age, girls are repeatedly taught to see themselves in an abhorrently objectifying way. Women are told both directly and indirectly that they are to blame for the perverse actions and conflicts of men. In contrast, young boys are rarely held accountable for their misdeeds towards girls, or for how the way they look affects or distracts girls around them. This way of thinking is wrong, but perpetuated nonetheless. It creates problems for girls that result in unnecessary struggles and uncomfortable or possibly dangerous situations.
The iconic Rosie the Riveter, a strong feminist icon created in the ‘40s to encourage women and prove that they are just as strong as men. Today, she’s faded out of popularity, but her slogan of “We Can Do It!” still stands as motivation for women to persevere in a man’s world.
Brigette walks in to an interview for an office job. She thinks it’s going well, and it seems the interviewer is enjoying the process as well. Just when Brigette thinks the interview is finishing up, the interviewer asks her, “Are you married?” And then, before she can even respond, the interviewer follows up with, “Are you planning on having children any time soon?” She knows these questions are invasive, ones that should never be asked, so she dismisses them. This lack of response upsets the interviewer, and Brigette leaves doubtful that she’ll be considered for a position. Just a few minutes later, a man enters for his interview. He is never asked if he’s married, or if he plans on having children. Instead, the interviewer jokes around with him, and the man leaves with confidence that he’ll be hired.
Caroline is 7 years old, in first grade. She lives in Florida, and it’s June, meaning it’s around 90 degrees, and her elementary school doesn’t have air conditioning, only rotating fans in every classroom. Her mom sends her to school in a tank top and knee-length shorts because of the weather, knowing she would be uncomfortably hot all day wearing a longer shirt. However, despite only being a young child, Caroline is dress coded for her exposed shoulders. The principal tells her mother that she could be distracting to boys, and that she should change into something more modest. Her mother tries to protest this judgement, but to no avail. As the mother and daughter leave the school so Caroline can change into something “more tasteful,” her mother notices most of the boys wearing muscle shirts, some of which expose half of the boy’s sides.
Denver is in seventh grade, and every morning she dreads going to school. No matter what she wears, she’s relentlessly bullied for it. If her clothes are too tight or too low cut, she’s an “attention-seeker,” and classmates call her sick, nasty names behind her back. If her clothes are too baggy or too modest, she’s trying too hard to be “not like other girls” or she needs to “loosen up more.” No matter what she wears, she can’t win.
Esther has worked at her company for seven years, and is considered the backbone of her department. She knows her line of work better than anyone else there, and she’s been trying to get a raise or promotion for years. However, she’s always told that “it’s not time yet” or “there aren’t any open positions.” Within the past year, a young man has joined her department, and he’s mediocre at best. Despite having nowhere near the amount of experience, talent, or skill that Esther has, management quickly decides to promote him, and he rises rapidly through the company, even though there are clearly other people better suited for the job.
Fatima is walking home alone from her job as a barista at her local coffee shop. It’s around 11 P.M. on a weekday, so it’s nearly pitch black, and the streets are mostly barren. She makes this trip three times a week, but she’s usually on her bike. Today, Fatima’s brother needed to borrow it, so she had no choice but to walk, which she already knew likely would not end well. Fatima hurries home as fast as she can, keeping her head down and almost running to avoid catching anyone’s attention. However, just a few blocks away from her apartment, a car pulls up to her, and the windows roll down. Inside, a group of young men pelt crude insults at her, and she feels like a helpless child, unable to stand up for herself. After unsuccessfully attempting to escape the car by running faster and ducking into alleyways, Fatima is left frustrated and vexed. Against her better judgement, she yells at the men to shut up and leave her alone. These statements do not fall on receptive ears, and, a moment later, Fatima hears one of the men yell at the driver to unlock the car doors. Realizing what could happen to her now, Fatima sprints the rest of the way home and thankfully makes it there safely. Who knows what could have happened had they caught up to her?
Giselle is 17 years old and works as a part-time secretary at an office. If it weren’t for her family’s needing the extra income, she would have quit long ago because of how uncomfortable her boss makes her feel. He constantly makes vile comments and unwanted advances towards her, but there isn’t much she can do about it. If she were to say no firmly, he would quickly become enraged by her “attitude” and fire her. Because she can’t be assertive, Giselle responds to him with a nervous giggle. When she shows people videos she’s recorded of him saying or doing something repulsive, it’s easy to say she’s flirting or leading him on, but in reality, the power dynamic makes it dangerous for her to properly fight back against him.
The standards for men are simply not the same as those for women. We’re called emotional, catty, fake, and attention-seeking. We’re reprimanded for doing the same things men are commended for, and are forced to carry the burden of responsibility when men act poorly. Rules like dress codes and societal norms like catcalling are prime examples of women being stripped of a basic human right: the ability to dress comfortably and confidently simply because we have to coddle and cater to men who cannot control themselves. Instead of teaching women to abide by archaic conventions, we need to shift the weight of accountability to men, and prioritize women as people, not objects.